I am a mum

I am a mum who drops everything to make jewellery for her children's friends when her child asks
I am a mum who declares 'DANCE BREAK' when it all gets a bit too much
I am a mum who bakes cakes without using a recipe and just hopes for the best
My children lick the bowl.
I am a mum who takes her children on walks , and trips and fun days out.
I make dates with my children , we need some one on one time, regularly.
I make nuggets from scratch and have banned all squash and worry endlessly about getting enough greens.

I am also a mum who shouts too much , drinks too much , cries too much . I don't like children, I adore mine.  I want to be accepted, by other mums, my own parents , my children. I don't , however, want to conform . I am a mum who looks around and wonders , how did this happen ? When did I become the grown up . I am a mum who married young and felt trapped. I am also a mum who left her marriage for another man and embarked on a new , dream, life. I am brave , I am scared , I love and I hate.

Does anyone ever get the balance right ? I cant decide if I want life to slow down , my children grow so quick , or speed up , so I can get some peace.

I need to accept that I am a mum but I am also me.

Its all about the money . money , money !

I am super excited about a papercutting workshop I am attending this month with the amazing Paper Panda. However when I booked in and paid for the workshop I totally forgot about getting there! Soooo I need to book train tickets. I have decided I don't get much alone time so I would love to travel first class. All i need to manifest is £100 ! Easy right ? Anyone want to buy a papercut ?

A new week

Start of a new week and I am feeling postive. Still can't work out how to share photos on blogger from a tablet . something to investigate this week for sure ! So what does this week hold for me? I am going to finish a painting , focus on my kids a bit, get organised for the upcoming half term and declutter the house some more. This morning has been spent doing yoga and having a detoxing bath which was bliss. Now for Lunch and then I am getting the timer set and blast through some work!

What is a friend?

Today in a feeling very sorry for myself moment I wondered whether I have any real friends? My boyfriend is without doubt my best friend and I feel very lucky to have him but I do miss having a close circle of friends. I have met people since moving to a new town that I think I can call friends, when do they stop being just someone you know . someone you see regularly and become a mate ? Its different as an adult isn't it ? As kids we would just call people, hang out , knock on there door  'Is so an so coming out to play please?' As a woman in her 30s I feel a bit awkward about asking someone if they would like to hang out with me. People are busy they already have a lot going on they wont have time for me!
However I came home and did some yoga ( is it weird that maybe my yoga mat is my second best friend, it is ALWAYS here for me after all ) and I feel better. I do have mates and I don't have time for much more socialising than I already do ! And on that note I am going to send a message asking if a fellow school run mum fancies a coffee this afternoon. What have I got to lose ?

After another long break , I'm back!

NO excuses for my time away just that I have been busy living my life :) Now though the time feels right to try my hand at blogging again. This decision has been encouraged by the purchase of a rather nifty wireless keyboard for my tablet . I had been resisting spending the money but i really despise touch screen typing and it was putting me off not only writing here but also reply to messages and emails . I found one on Amazon for around £10 and it is amazing ! No turning back now :)
So what am I going to attempt to blog about this time ? Who knows! But I am feeling like its time for me to truly get back to work and reach my full potential. I am cutting paper again too this week. I love seeing the image appear on the paper. How cutting the lines make the sometimes crude drawings turn into something special. I don't always follow the lines, sometimes preferring to almost sketch with my blade and just see what happens. I am beginning to feel like a real artist . Maybe I have finally begun the process of accepting myself.
So there you go, I am back. I don't know how often I will find my way here but I am aiming for at least once a week and I will learn how to add photos so you can see my work!

Love and light folks!